


And so the song breaks off

by Iactura



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon was too sad for me so I made it sadder, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Immediately post-Geonosis, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by WW1 poetry, POV Second Person, War Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iactura/pseuds/Iactura
Summary: What good is one voice when its brothers are silenced?





	And so the song breaks off

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Dead Musicians by Siegfried Sassoon.  
> Inspiration from a scene in Republic Commando: Hard Contact

For when my brain is on their track,  
In slangy speech I call them back.

And see their faces crowding round  
To the sound of the syncopated beat.  
  
And so the song breaks off; and I’m alone.  
They’re dead ... For God’s sake stop that gramophone.

* * *

The aftermath of a battle was always the quietest.

The ringing in your ears has faded and the cries of the wounded cannot escape the medcentre's soundproof walls. There might have been sobs, (from others or yourself, it all blends together) but those are gone too. The ever-present hum of the ship’s engine seems inconsequential now. No footsteps sound outside your door, no murmur of voices, no soft rustle of cloth over well-polished metal. The transmitter lies dead on the table, just as it was left.

The silence had crept up, inch by inch. It descends over the empty barracks with its empty lockers and empty beds. It wraps around you where you sit, wedged into the corner. The weight of it settles over your shoulders, heavier than any armour. It enters you through each shallow breath, replacing the scent of discharged weapons, and flows down your ragged throat. It coalesces in your core, then expands, leaving your entire body cold and shuddering. You feel weightless, surreal, wrong – you panic and try to grab onto something, anything. Fingers scrabble at the unfeeling floor. An attempt to call out fails, the words drying on your lips. You don’t bother trying again, there’s no use.

Your brothers are gone, leaving nothing behind. No bodies, no belongings, no trace of their existence beyond a crossed-out string of letters and numbers on an impassive screen. Once, they had always been beside you ; from the moment you were decanted from the gestation pods, to when you marched through unending white halls, to when you stood at the range emptying round after round, to when you boarded those gunships that wet and wind-whipped evening. They were beside you when you touched the dusty red sand with your pristine white boots. But you weren’t beside them when they fell, chests pierced by neon flashes of light. You weren’t beside them when the fighting was over, and you weren’t beside them when the same gunships returned to carry away the leftovers. They are gone but you still remain. How can you call yourself a brother when you are alone?

The silence continues. You try to remember their voices, how wonderous they were when they intertwined with your own as you sang the not-so-old songs of a culture not quite your own. The lyrics come tumbling unbidden from your mouth, mumbled and rushed. You just can’t remember the right tune, the right rhythm. It all seems like a cruel joke. 

_Kote_

(it was never meant for us)

_Darsuum kote_

(it all ended too fast)

_Kandosii sa ka’rta, Vode an_

(the heart no longer beats)

(my brothers are gone, I’m alone)

...

And so the song breaks off.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. The transmitter is a somewhat vague reference to the device used to broadcast the GAR broadcast in Rookies. It also conveniently replaces the gramophone from Sassoon's poem.  
> 2\. 'not quite old' refers to the fact that the Clone version of Vode An has altered lyrics, different from the traditional Mandalorian version.  
> 3\. The lyrics to Vode An have been altered to better suit the story. The line 'darasuum kote' is not from the original song, but borrowed from the song Kote Darasuum.  
> 4\. Many thanks to my editor and greatest enabler, who somehow puts up with this despite not caring about SW. Although unmentioned, the clone's name is Resnik, designation CT-5748, courtesy of my editor.


End file.
